Le Sommelier

Long Day at the Pearly Gates

2006-01-31T18:24:00.000-08:00

St. Peter looks up from his writing, and frowns at the flock of souls awaiting entry into Heaven. He scowls at the sight of some obviously unqualified aspirants, checks his log entries and waves them away.

A short time later, Jesus Christ is strolling through the streets of Heaven, and comes upon a group of people who simply should not be there.

He strides with great purpose to the entrance to Heaven, and thunders, "Yo, Pete!"

The grizzled saint heaves a very Jewish sigh, and turns to see his boss glowering at him.

"Anything I can help you with, J.C.?"

"Yes, you old cod-basher. You can explain why you let in that last batch of sinners, reprobates, apostates and insurance salesmen into Heaven."

St. Peter puts up his hands and mutters, "Not my fault."

"Not your fault? How can it be, not your fault?"

"Well, it's like this: I look 'em over, I check 'em out, they don't make the cut, I tell 'em to sod off... and they go around back, and your mother lets them in!"

Kvetching for Christ

2006-01-30T16:40:00.000-08:00

Time and again, I read and hear stories of how Christians are vilified, persecuted, castigated, humiliated, and otherwise treated with less than perfect respect in the “biased liberal” media. Time and again, said Christians wring their hands and bemoan their fate.
Well, My Christian Brethren (and Sisteren, just to be properly inclusive), or MCB as I would abbreviate, if you only made better chicken soup, you would be downright Jewish.
What would Jesus say? Interesting question. Perhaps we should examine what he DID say, since he had this particular topic covered well before he achieved maximum coverage in the “media” of his time.
In the interests of brevity, I will only cite the quotations that I find most enlightening.
For example:
Matthew 5: 10-12, 21-26, 38-48; 6: 1-18; 7: 1-5
Actually, if you were to read all four Gospels, the main message would be quite clear:
To be Christian, is to suffer. Actually, this is true of ALL humanity. You, MCB, are taught to offer your suffering up for His sake. (Yes, I capitalized the pronoun.)
And what precise injury do today's Christians suffer the most? To their feelings. In other words, they fear the opinions of others, they anticipate injury to their pride, their self-esteem, their self-image as "the light of the world."
Is your God that small, that you should fear the words of men? Is your God that weak, that when men find you obnoxious and tiresome, that you should cower and whine?
Jesus may simply phrase it as Dr. Phil might: "You knew the rules of the game when you chose to play. Get over yourself."
Love thine enemies, MCB. Judging by the company you keep, you sure as hell can't trust your friends.

First Post

2006-01-29T14:59:00.000-08:00

At this juncture, I suppose that something of a "Mission Statement" may be appropriate.
I'm still working on that.
Once a "Mission Statement" has been properly constructed, it will be posted.
In the meantime...let's rock...